Christmas Presents
by E. Limberg
Summary: Set off island after 4x10. Jack tries to make amends for leaving by giving Aaron and Kate a good Christmas.
1. Chapter 1

Kate frowns slightly as she passes the strange dark blue SUV parked in front of her house, wondering who it could belong to. She pulls her car into the garage and exits, and after a moment of contemplation, she decides to leave her purchases in the trunk of the car to keep them hidden from her son.

When she steps inside the house, she instantly hears footsteps running towards her, and seconds later, Aaron runs into her, arms wrapping around her legs. "Guess who here, Mommy!" he exclaims excitedly, and before she can even begin to guess, he tells her. "Jack!"

"Jack?" she frowns slightly, not sure she heard right. Aaron hadn't seen the doctor in almost two months, and she hadn't seen him in several weeks, not since he had asked her to meet at the airport and then insisted that they had to go back to the island.

"Yes!" he beams up at her.

Veronica steps into the kitchen, wringing her hands nervously, "Kate, I'm so sorry about this. Aaron saw him, and… well, I couldn't just send him away after that."

Kate sighs as she ruffles her son's hair and glances over toward the living room, where she presumes Jack is. "Do you mind watching him for a bit longer while I take care of this?"

"It's no problem, Kate," the nanny steps closer to her and rests a hand on her friend's arm. "I know you and Jack have had your differences recently, and it's really none of my business. But I think you should hear him out, Kate."

"Mommy?" Aaron asks, tugging on her hand.

She squats down to his level and kisses his cheek, "I need you to go upstairs and play with Veronica for a while, goober."

"But Jack here, Mommy," he pouts. "You make Jack leave again?"

She closes her eyes for a moment, not realizing that the young boy thought she had made him leave the first time. But if he is in the same state as he was then - and the same state he was in the last time she saw him - then there is no way she is letting Jack stick around, no matter how much it would devastate the boy.

"Don't worry, buddy. I'm not going to leave you again." Kate opens her eyes to find Jack standing in the doorway between the kitchen and living room.

"Come on, Aaron," Veronica reaches out for his hand, and with a reluctant look from his mother to the doctor, the blonde boy takes it and follows her upstairs.

"Kate," he starts once they are out of earshot.

"What are you doing here, Jack?" she asks, gaze hardening as she studies him. He looks a lot more like the man he had been on the island, not the drunk and high version that she had seen a few weeks ago.

"I tried to call, but you haven't been answering your phone." She glances down at the ground, not wanting to admit that she had blocked his number because she had wanted to avoid the pain of seeing him destroy himself. "Look, I'm sorry, Kate. I was an idiot before, and I ruined everything. But I promise that I'm clean now, and I want to stay that way."

"Good for you, Jack," she says, and while she truly is happy that he is turning his life around, there is no warmth in her words.

"I'm sorry, Kate," he reaches out for her hand, but she doesn't let him take it. He knew this would be difficult when he came over, and he certainly hadn't expected to just be welcomed back as if nothing had happened. But clearly she isn't going to make this easier for him at all. "I've ruined things between us; I know that, and I'm not asking you to forgive me for what I did to you. But Kate… I want to be a part of his life. He's family… you both are, no matter what happens with us."

"Jack…" she sighs and turns around, running a hand through her hair. Her little boy had been devastated when Jack left, and she can't bear the thought of putting him through that pain again if Jack relapses.

"You remember a couple months ago when we talked about wanting Aaron to have a real Christmas now that he's old enough to remember? With snow and everything?" Jack takes the plunge.

"If you bought him a present, Jack, I'm not going to stop you from giving it to him," she keeps her face angled away from him as she heads to the living room.

"It wasn't exactly just for Aaron," he answers, following her. Getting no further explanation, she turns to give him a quizzical look. "I, uh… I rented a cabin for us to spend Christmas at. It's up in the mountains a couple hours from here."

"Do you really think that was the best thing to do given everything that's happened?"

"I booked it the day after we talked about it. I just never got around to telling you before I went and made a mess of everything."

She glares at him, "And you think we're just going to go with you because you've already spent the money?"

"I was hoping that we could put our differences aside for a few days and give Aaron a good Christmas, something better than what we grew up with," he says, glancing around the room. "I mean… Christmas is less than a week away and you haven't decorated yet."

"You left us, Jack. Forgive us for not really feeling all that festive," she counters.

"So let me fix it, Kate. Let me do this for him… and for you," he pleads, wishing he could just go back and not make the same stupid mistakes.

Silence envelopes them for several minutes, him waiting for her to make a decision and her still reluctant to trust him again. "Why, Jack?" she asks softly.

"Why what?"

"Three weeks ago you were stoned and drunk. It looked like you hadn't shaved since you left. And all you could talk about was going back. So what changed your mind?" she looks up at him curiously.

"Can't we just say it was a Christmas miracle?" he gives her a small smile.

"You don't believe in miracles," she replies with a shake of her head. "Jack, if you really want what you're asking me for, I need to know that you are serious about this. I can't go through the last two months again; I can't put Aaron through that again. So what was it, Jack?"

He looks down at his feet for a few seconds, "I saw my father."

"I thought your father was gone, Jack," she looks at him suspiciously.

"He is. And this isn't the first time I've seen him since he died. He appeared while I was driving late one night. I was… well, I was in no better state than I was when you last saw me. Thought I was going crazy, and I ended up wrecking my truck. But… well, he told me that he had been proud of me, that I hadn't been a disappointment to him even when I… when I betrayed him and cost him his job. And then he said I was going to end up just as worthless as he has always made me feel like I was if I didn't straighten up. What he told me was exactly what I needed to hear to let him go and to let what happened on the island go."

A small smile graces her lips as she accepts this explanation, and she reaches for his arm, "You're okay? After the accident?"

"Just a few scrapes and bruises. They're mostly healed now. But, uh…" he gives a soft chuckle and gestures out the window, "you're probably happy to see that my truck wasn't as lucky."

Her smile widens, "Yeah, well I might actually let you drive Aaron around in that one."

"Kate…" He can't help but let his hope rise as he snags her fingers, giving them a light squeeze.

"Jack," Kate whispers, closing her eyes again but not pulling her hand out of his.

"The accident was eight days ago. I won't deny that it's been hard, Kate. But I think that being around him, having a reminder of why I'm doing this, is exactly what I need right now."

"Jack," she repeats with a soft sigh.

He gives her fingers another squeeze before letting go of her, "I know that I'm not really making things easier for you right now. I've put you through a lot the last few months, and I know that it's not just going to go back to how it was. So… I'll give you some time to think about things and decide."

She gives a small nod, "Thanks."

"I'm, uh… just going to go up and say bye to Aaron if that's okay," he points to the stairs.

"Of course."

Five minutes later he returns from Aaron's room, having assured the little boy that he wasn't leaving for good. Or at least he hopes not. "The reservation for the cabin is Sunday through Wednesday, but we can go for as much or as little of that as you want. If you want to go. Just… just call me and let me know," he gives a tentative smile.

She returns it, "I'm glad you're doing better, Jack."

They look at each other for a long moment, each unsure what to say, before he turns and heads out the front door.

**~Lost~**

"Mommy read?" Aaron asks, sitting down on his bed.

Kate has to hide her surprise - he had never asked her to read since Jack left, and most of the time he didn't want her to when she offered. "Yes, I can. What book do you want to read tonight?" she asks with a smile.

He thinks for a moment before darting out of the room. She frowns slightly when she hears him going down the stairs, but minutes later he comes back with a book in hand - Twas the Night before Christmas. "This one, Mommy," he hands it to her before crawling into bed, pulling his covers up.

"Where did you get this?" she asks, knowing she hadn't bought it for him.

"Jack bringed it."

"Oh," she replies, tucking him under the blankets even though he had ended up in her bed before sunrise every night since Jack left, and then settles down on the floor beside his bed to read to him.

"What do you want Santa to bring you?" she asks when she has finished reading, finding him sleepy but still awake. She had gifts for him already, though she hadn't yet had the motivation to wrap them, but when she brought the subject of Christmas up, he would never really tell her what he wanted.

"Santa bringed my present already."

"He did?" she asks, wondering if the boy is confused in this sleepy state.

"Yes, Mommy. Santa bringed Jack home," he replies, blinking slowly before his blue eyes finally close with sleep.

Kate swipes at her eyes quickly, then leans down to kiss him goodnight. After standing in the doorway a moment longer to watch him sleep, she heads downstairs, needing to make a phone call.


	2. Chapter 2

"Hi, Jack," Aaron opens the front door and throws his arms around the doctor when he finds him on the other side.

"Hey, buddy. You all ready to go?" he crouches down to the boy's level and gives him a proper hug.

"Mommy say we go see snow!"

"Yes."

"We make Frosty?"

"Frosty?" Jack frowns.

"Frosty the snowman," Aaron starts singing.

"Oh, sure, buddy. We can build a snowman," he tells the boy, looking around for his mother.

Kate comes down the stairs then, looking somewhat frazzled, and she doesn't even notice that he's here.

"Hi, Kate," he calls, standing up.

Halfway to the kitchen, she turns back around, "Oh, hey, Jack."

"Is everything okay?" he asks, worried that she is stressed about having to spend three days with him.

She glances down at Aaron, who is watching them closely, "Honey, why don't you put your snow boots on? Jack and I will be right back."

When Aaron plops down on the ground by the floor and starts to pull the shoes on, Jack follows Kate through the kitchen to the garage. "You okay?" he repeats now that they are alone.

"I was just going to leave the presents here for him to open when we came home… or most of them anyway… but he was asking me about how Santa would know where we are if we're not at home. And I was stupid and told him that Santa always knows where you are and brings the presents to you. So…" she gestures to the bags of wrapped presents behind her car. "Is there enough room for them?"

Jack smiles at how adorable she looks all worried about being a good mother, "Yeah, of course. I bought a tree for us to put up later and some decorations. I, uh… I got him a couple things, figured you would also want to bring at least a few things for him to open on Christmas day. But yeah, I've got plenty of room in the trunk."

She looks up at him, surprised he had bought gifts for Aaron too. After a moment, she says, "Thanks for the book by the way. He's made me read every day since you came over."

"It's no problem, Kate. I grabbed a couple more Christmas books for him while I was out shopping for the tree."

"At this rate, he's going to have his own library."

Jack chuckles, "Well, there are worse things he could like."

"Mommy! I stuck!" Aaron calls.

"You go help him, I'll get these in the car."

"Thanks, Jack," she smiles. "His car seat is there too."

"I've got it."

When Kate goes back inside, Aaron is on the floor halfway from the front door to the kitchen, his bootlaces having knotted together as he tried to come after them. "What did you do, goober?" she asks, tickling his side before setting to work unknotting the laces.

"Suitcases ready to go?" Jack asks, coming back in the front door.

"Yep," she replies, tying the snow boot laces up properly. Aaron stands up, then takes her hands to help her up. She doesn't have the heart to tell him he's not actually all that helpful. "Can you hold on to your coat?" she asks, pulling their coats and the bag of other winter weather wear out of the closet. He nods eagerly, and she gives the new bright blue coat to him. "Where is your bag of toys?"

"Upstairs."

She goes to get it while Jack enters again and picks up the coat and bag she had left behind. "That everything?"

"Coats, suitcases, Aaron's stuff, Christmas…" she trails off, realizing he is there. "Yeah, I think so."

**~Lost~**

"I have to potty!" Aaron announces as they park at the grocery store, having decided to stop for supplies before heading up the mountain.

"I'll take him," Kate says, opening up the back door to help Aaron out of his car seat.

"I'll try to figure out what we can have on Christmas then," Jack says, grabbing a cart on the way into the store.

Once he has used the bathroom, Aaron and Kate wander the store in search of Jack, the boy trying to pick up different foods he wants on the way. "Sweetie, it's only going to be three days, and there are places to eat. Do you really need so many snacks?" she asks gently.

He reluctantly sets the box of goldfish back on the shelf, deciding to stick with the animal crackers and peanut butter crunch cereal he already has in his hands. "Juice box?" he looks up at her hopefully.

"Sure," she agrees, leading him in that direction, sure they will eventually run into Jack.

"Hey," Jack calls as Aaron is trying to make up his mind on juice box flavors. "I've got stuff for breakfast and Christmas dinner as well as some other things. Anything else we need?"

As she puts Aaron's animal crackers and cereal in the cart, she notes that Jack has grabbed a box of goldfish as well as many other things that they probably don't need. "I thought you said there were some restaurants," she says, glancing up at him.

"I just wanted to make sure we don't starve if they happen to be closed for the holidays. Or if we get snowed in. Oh, I couldn't remember what kind of milk he likes," he explains.

"I can go grab it. You'll watch him? He might need you to read through the juice box options again."

While Kate goes off to get milk, he picks the boy up, helping him to make a decision.

An hour later they are unloading the car at their cabin, Aaron staring out the window in wonder at the snow while Jack gets the suitcases and decorations out and Kate puts groceries away. She freezes when she pulls a bottle of wine out of one of the bags, unsure how she hadn't noticed it before.

"What's this?" Kate asks, setting it on the counter when Jack finishes unloading the car and comes to help her.

"I thought you might want it with dinner on Christmas," he replies.

She glares and folds her arms over her chest, "Jack."

"Kate, I swear I have intention of drinking any of it."

"Jack, I wouldn't put you in that position. I support you in this, and I wouldn't drink around you."

"You shouldn't have to suffer because of me," he argues.

"It's not suffering. I don't really drink much."

"Because of me?"

"Because of Wayne," she replies with a sigh, not wanting to think about him when they are supposed to be having fun.

"Well…" he puts the bottle into the fridge. "It will stay right there unopened if you change your mind. And if you don't want it, I guess the next occupants will get a present."

She looks down at the ground, and he once again wishes he could go back and fix things.

"I put your suitcases in the main room, thought you two could share. Or he can sleep with me, it doesn't matter," he changes the subject. "And I left the… you know what in the car for now."

"Thanks," she says, eyeing her son but he is still looking out at the snow.

"So I was thinking we could decorate so Santa can come tomorrow night and then maybe go grab dinner somewhere?" Jack suggests.

"Christmas tree!" the boys yells, finally turning his attention to them.

Jack and Aaron get started putting the tree together while she finishes with the groceries. The tree he had bought it fairly simple, only three pieces needing to be attached to form the skinny six foot Christmas decoration. She watches as the doctor shows the three year old how to spread out the branches to make the tree look bigger and have more room for ornaments. Jack picks the boy up so he can reaches some of the higher branches, and before he sets him back down, he whispers something in his ear.

Aaron comes running over to her then as Jack gets out the box of lights. "Mommy, Jack say you come help," he grabs onto her hand and tugs her over to their tree.

"You trying to get out of this?" Jack teases, plugging the lights in. "Thought you might be more useful than Aaron as putting the lights on."

"Probably," she agrees, accepting the strand of lights from him as together they wrap them around the tree.

Aaron pulls the box of ornaments out of the bag, looking at them with wide eyes as he sits on the floor. There is a set of red, green, and silver bulbs and another with different Christmas themed items.

Jack glances down at the boy and smiles, and as he accepts the lights from her, he quietly asks, "Didn't you celebrate last year?"

"We just did a small tree like half this size. And I'm not sure he remembers it all that much."

"Any special Christmas traditions in your family?" he asks. When she fails to meet his eyes around the side of the tree and instead continues to study the lights, he realizes his mistake. "We didn't do anything special really either."

She hesitates for another moment before speaking, "Christmas was good when Dad was there. I mean, they split up when I was five so I don't really remember a lot, but… well, everything was better then. Then Wayne came and I don't think we even really celebrated after I turned ten. Ma always worked down at the diner on Christmas Day, and for Wayne, it was an excuse to get even more drunk than usual."

"I'm sorry, Kate."

She gives a sort of half-shrug, "He was usually too drunk on Christmas for any of his other… activities so I guess it was better than every other day of the year."

Jack watches as she hangs the last of the lights around the top of the tree, wondering yet again about her childhood. She had told him what she had done and why when they were on Penny's boat, and while he is sure that she hadn't lied, he feels like she had probably omitted some of the truth about her stepfather. Deciding that now really isn't the time to push her for more information, he bends down next to Aaron and opens the boxes of ornaments.

They watch as Aaron decorates the tree, taking turns lifting him up to reach higher branches after he has the bottom of the tree filled up.


	3. Chapter 3

Aaron moves onto Jack's lap as Frosty starts melting in the greenhouse, the magician having trapped him in there. "I don't want Frosty to melt!"

"Frosty will be okay," Jack tries to reassure the boy.

But moments later, Frosty is nothing more than a puddle. "You lie! Frosty gone," Aaron says, looking up at him with sad eyes.

"Just keep watching, goober," Kate says, curled up on the other end of the couch.

The boy is enthralled with the remainder of the movie as Santa brings Frosty back to life. "We make Frosty tomorrow?" he asks. It had been too dark outside when the got back from dinner to play in the snow.

"Yes," she smiles. "Now, I think it's time for somebody to go to bed."

"But I not tired, Mommy," Aaron informs her with a yawn.

"Who do you want to sleep with tonight?" Jack asks.

"You," he answers without thinking about it.

"Okay, you go brush your teeth," she instructs. The boy climbs down from Jack's lap and scampers down the hall to the bathroom.

"You okay with that?" he asks once Aaron is gone.

"Of course," she gives him a small smile. "Do you want to switch rooms, take the bigger bed? He, uh… he kind of kicks."

"I think we'll manage," he smiles back. "You going to bed too?"

She nods and stands, "It's been a long day. He woke up super early because he was so excited about the snow."

They walk down the hall together, and she lifts Aaron up to tuck him in to the bed, making sure he isn't too close to the edge. "Good night," she kisses his forehead.

"Love you, Mommy," he says with another yawn.

Jack pulls a book out and lays down on the bed beside the boy. "Night, Kate," he tells her as she exits, pulling his bedroom door shut behind her.

**~Lost~**

Aaron looks up at Kate as she stops rolling the snowball. "Bigger, Mommy!" he says, pushing it forward on his own.

"If you make it too big, it won't fit on top of the other ones," she says, rubbing her cold hands together.

With a soft sigh, Aaron stops rolling and studies the parts of the snowman already in place. "Okay, it ready."

Jack lifts the head of the snowman, placing it on the rest of his body. "There. You want to pick out some arms for him?"

The boy walks away in search of twigs, Kate and Jack both watching him.

"So what are we going to tell him when the snowman doesn't come to life?" Jack asks quietly, glancing over at her.

She looks down at the snow at her feet and shrugs, "I haven't really figured that out yet."

Aaron comes back with his selected snowman arms, and while he and Jack put them in, Kate goes to the porch to grab the bag of other supplies that they had left there. She ties the scarf around its neck while Aaron carefully puts buttons on the middle ball of snow. Then the doctor lifts him up to make the face with more buttons and a carrot.

Aaron grins up at the snowman once his feet are back on the ground. Jack crouches down next to him, "You know… Frosty is special, Aaron."

"Yes," the boy nods. "He magic."

"Exactly. And our snowman is… not magic."

Aaron nods again, "I know. He not alive."

"Yes."

After another moment of looking at the snowman, the blond boy turns to Jack, "Now what we do?"

"You getting cold?"

"No."

"Then what do you want to do?" Jack tightens the boy's blue scarf around his neck.

"I have an idea," Kate says from behind him, and a second later he is smacked square in the back by a snowball.

Aaron giggles as Jack stands and turns around to look at her, surprised. Another snowball hits his chest, sending snowflakes into his face as it explodes.

"Aaron, you want to help me get your mom back for that?" he asks, bending down to pick up some snow in his hands. The boy does the same.

Both of their snowballs miss her, and she gets in another hit to Jack before taking off toward the back of the cabin. She stops and listens, and hearing nothing, she starts to build a pile of snowballs in anticipation of their attack. And then she quietly waits, snowball in hand, for over five minutes.

Jack peers around the side of the cabin, and seeing no sign of her, he creeps forward, trying to be as quiet as possible in the snow, until he reaches the end of the cabin. After a deep breath, he steps out and launches the snowball at her.

Catching movement out of the corner of her eye, she turns toward the doctor and just barely dodges the snowball he had thrown before tossing her own. In her hurry to throw it, her aim is off, and she misses him. As she bends to grab another, she is hit low on her back by a snowball. She turns around to find Aaron standing there and is surprised that the three year old had managed to throw it that hard.

Jack succeeds in hitting her shoulder with a snowball of his own. Kate eyes the snowball in her hand for a second and then throws it at him. As it hits his chest and she leans over to grab another, Aaron runs at her, catching her off guard and sending her down into the snow.

He climbs on top of her and starts throwing fistfuls of snow at her as she brings her arms up to protect her face from the cold. "I win," the little boy says triumphantly.

The doctor stands there grinning as he watches them, knowing that if she truly wanted to get away from the boy, she could do so. After a moment of letting Aaron have his fun, Jack grabs him under the arms and lifts him off of her.

"Hey," Aaron protests as he is set on his feet.

"I think she knows you won, buddy," he says, offering her a hand to help her up. Kate brushes the snow off of her as she sits up and then accepts Jack's hand.

"I cold," the blonde boy says, looking up at him.

"You're cold? I think some of that snow you threw on me got inside my coat," she tells him.

"I think it's time to go inside," Jack says, picking Aaron up and following her back around to the front of the cabin.

Five minutes later they have gotten all of their winter gear off and organized. Kate shivers, the snow clinging to her jeans and what made it down her coat now starting to melt. She looks over at her son, who has grabbed his backpack and settled at the kitchen table to color, the cold clearly no longer bothering him.

"Do you mind if I go take a shower?" she asks.

"Go ahead," he says, having noticed her shiver. "I'll keep an eye on him."

"Thanks," she gives him a small smile before heading toward the bathroom.

Jack moves over to Aaron, looking down at the picture he is coloring. Aaron stops and looks up at him, "I have juice box?"

"Sure, buddy," he says, getting one out of the box for him.

"Goldfish?"

"Uh… it's almost time for lunch. Why don't we wait for your mom to shower and we'll see what she wants to do for lunch?" Jack suggests, not wanting to have to explain to Kate why Aaron isn't hungry later.

"Okay," Aaron sighs and takes a sip of juice before returning to coloring.

"What are you drawing?"

"Dinosaurs."

"Which one is your favorite?"

"T-rex," he answers with a smile as he continues drawing an indistinguishable type of dinosaur. A few minutes pass before he sets down the green crayon and announces, "I gotta potty."

Unfortunately the cabin only has one bathroom, which is already occupied. "Well, buddy, mom is in the bathroom right now. Can you hold it?"

"No," he vigorously shakes his head and gets out of the chair.

Jack stands and leads Aaron to the bathroom. "Kate," he calls as he knocks on the door. Getting no answer, he assumes she can't hear him through the door with the water running. He glances down at Aaron, who is doing the potty dance, and then reluctantly reaches for the doorknob, which he fortunately finds unlocked.

Kate freezes when she hears her name called, in the middle of rinsing the shampoo out of her hair. After a moment of hesitation, she says, "Yeah?"

"Sorry to bother you," Jack begins, "but Aaron kind of needs to use the bathroom."

"Oh… he can come in," she replies.

Hearing her grant permission, Aaron pushes the door open further so that he can get inside and races to the toilet to relieve his bladder.

Jack briefly catches sight of her silhouette through the shower curtain before turning back down the hall, not wanting to be caught looking at her when they aren't even dating anymore.

A few minutes later he and the boy are seated at the kitchen table again, the latter finishing up his dinosaur drawings. "All done," Aaron announces, sliding the picture over to Jack.

"Where did you learn to write?" he asks, pointing at the name written at the top of the paper, the 'r' backwards but otherwise correct.

"Mommy teached me. It say Aaron."

"Do you know how to write anything else?" He and Kate had considered putting him in preschool for the fall, but later found out that he just missed the birthday cutoff to start that year.

"I know all the letters," Aaron says proudly.

"Can you write my name?"

The blue eyes look at him for a moment before shaking his head, "Don't know how."

The doctor pulls out a new piece of paper, spelling out his name for the boy to write. The 'j' is also backwards but otherwise Aaron gets the letters correct.

As Aaron proceeds to show Jack his skills by writing out the entire alphabet, Kate wanders back into the kitchen. Suddenly very much regretting his words those months ago now that he can see all the contradictory evidence of her mothering instincts, he turns his eyes to look at her, taking in her jeans and red sweater, then her wet curls falling over her shoulders.

She gives him a sheepish smile, then her gaze turns down to her hand resting on the table, "I, uh, must have forgotten to pack a hairbrush."

"I think we passed a drugstore on the way to dinner yesterday. I can run out and get you one. Or… well, Aaron mentioned he was getting hungry; we could go get some lunch and stop on the way."

"After our snowball fight, I could go for some lunch," she agrees.

"Great. I was thinking we could see if they have a sled too. Aaron would probably like that."

She nods and ruffles Aaron's blonde hair, "Yeah, I bet he would have fun sledding."


	4. Chapter 4

Jack settles on the other end of the couch after carrying Aaron to the bedroom for his afternoon nap. Her eyes are on the Christmas movie still playing on the TV, but he can tell that her mind is elsewhere.

A few moments pass before she turns to him, voicing what has been on her mind. "Jack, you've never had more than a weekend off of work. How did you manage to get all this time off to bring us up here?"

"I do have vacation days, Kate," he replies with a small smile. But it fades a moment later when the lie hits him, and he knows that if he is ever going to have a chance of fixing things with her, he has to be completely honest about how badly he had screwed things up. "Actually… I haven't exactly been working recently."

Her questioning eyes meet his, "Why not?"

He lets out a long breath before taking the plunge, "I showed up drunk and looking for a high on one of my days off. The chief of surgery caught me stealing narcotics from the hospital when I couldn't get them filled at the pharmacy."

"They fired you?"

He shakes his head, "I'm suspended. They told me I had three months to get cleaned up, or they would fire me."

"When was that?"

"A week before I asked you to meet me at the airport."

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asks, resting her hand on his forearm.

"I didn't want to admit to you how badly I had messed up. And it wouldn't have mattered to you anyway. If anything, it just would have confirmed for you how screwed up I had let myself become and that you and Aaron were better off without me." Jack looks down at her hand, realizing for the first time that she isn't wearing the engagement ring, though this doesn't surprise him at all. It's just another reminder of his mistakes and what they had cost him, just like the pain he can see in her eyes every time they meet his.

Kate glances at the TV screen for a moment, then turns back to him, "I owe you an explanation, Jack."

"You don't owe me anything, Kate. What happened was my fault."

She ignores him, "Sawyer has a daughter. That's what he told me on the helicopter before he kissed me and jumped out. And that's where I was that day - with her."

He brings his eyes up from her hand still on his arm to meet hers, "Kate, you don't have to tell me this."

"Yes, I do. It's what started the fight, and it's probably at least part of the reason you were drinking."

He slowly nods, "I was worried there was someone else."

"There was, just probably not what you were expecting. He asked me to find her, make sure she was taken care of."

"And after nearly three years, you managed to track her down."

She gives him a smile and shakes her head, "Not exactly. It only took me a month to find her after we got back and settled. Turns out her mother is a friend of sorts. She helped me out once when I was on the run. Even told me that she had just been conned out of all her money by this guy, that he got her pregnant. Never imagined that Sawyer and I had a mutual friend."

"So you've visited them before?" he asks.

"Clementine and Aaron have playdates every couple months."

"Then why was Aaron at home and not with you that day?"

"Cassidy and I met up for dinner without the kids after she got off work."

"Why didn't you just tell me? I wouldn't be mad at you having friends."

"I couldn't tell you without it becoming about Sawyer, and he wouldn't want everyone to know," she admits. "But I should have just been honest with you instead of giving you a reason not to trust me."

"I do trust you, Kate. And I hope that one day you are able to trust me again," he puts his hand over hers and gently squeezes it.

They sit quietly for a minute before she turns her whole body on the couch to face him. "Jack, I know you've had your doubts before and probably still with everything that has happened, but you need to know that you are really good with him. You're like a father to him, and he really missed you. So whatever happens between the two of us - if we aren't able to work things out - I'm not going to stop you from seeing Aaron as long as you stay clean. I don't want to put him through that loss again, and if being around him is your motivation for doing this, I don't want to jeopardize your sobriety."

"I won't hurt him again, Kate. I promise." He wants to promise her that he won't break her heart again, but he's afraid that the words would only succeed in pushing her further away from him. Having her here with him would have to be enough for now.

**~Lost~**

"Stop, Jack!" Aaron squeals, trying to wiggle away as he is tickled. Kate dries her hands on a towel, finished with the dishes from their light dinner, and comes to stand beside the couch to watch them. "Save me, Mommy," he struggles to call out in between laughing.

"You started it," Jack points out, hands moving from the boy's feet to his tummy.

She eventually takes mercy on him and says, "I think it's bath time."

"Aw," Aaron pouts as the doctor finally relents.

"You have to be nice and clean for Santa."

"Jack help?" he eagerly looks up at the man.

"Jack can bathe you," she agrees. He may have been out of practice, but Jack had bathed Aaron plenty of times when they were together, and she is sure he can manage on his own. "But no splashing and no tickle fights in the bathroom."

Twenty minutes later Aaron scampers into her bedroom to get his pajamas. Kate, who had finished changing into her own sleep attire and been staring at a small wrapped box hidden in her suitcase, helps him to get dressed. "What happened to Jack?" she asks.

"He got wet," her son replies, miserably failing at appearing innocent in the matter.

"What have I told you about splashing?" she says, pulling his pajama top over his head.

"Jack started it," he tells her, big blue eyes looking at her as he hopes not to get in trouble. "I sorry, Mama."

"It's my fault, Kate. Don't be mad at him," Jack appears in the doorway, a faded t-shirt and sweatpants having now replaced the clothes she had last seen him in.

She shakes her head at the two of them, but the slight smile on her face tells them she isn't mad. "You ready for Santa to come?"

Aaron nods eagerly, "I stay up all night to see him."

"Santa won't come if you're still awake," she replies, poking him in the belly. "You want to sleep with Jack again tonight?"

"No, I sleep with you, Mommy," he replies.

She hadn't expected this answer but figures she would just wait a couple hours until she knows he's sound asleep before sneaking out to put the presents under the tree. "Sure, goober," she smiles.

"Story time?" he asks, looking up at Jack.

"Let me go get a book," Jack says, heading out to the living room.

Aaron goes to his backpack on the bedroom floor by his suitcase and pulls out the book Jack had brought him a few days ago while Kate quickly shuts her own suitcase so that the present inside isn't seen.

The doctor comes back with a new book, Olive the Other Reindeer, "How about this one?"

Aaron holds up Twas the Night before Christmas and hopefully says, "Read both?"

"You think you can stay awake for both?" Jack teases.

"I a big boy," Aaron nods eagerly. "Mommy, you listen to story too," he tugs on her hand, pulling her toward the bed.

Having never really been there for story time other than the occasional peek in on her boys, she glances at Jack for confirmation that he is okay with that. He gives her a small smile and nod. She pulls back the covers, picks up Aaron, and puts him in the middle of the bed.

As she climbs in next to him, Jack goes around to the other side and sits down, leaning against the headboard and opening up the book he had chosen. Aaron settles back against Kate, both of them laying on their sides to face him, and he starts reading.

When he finishes the first book, he finds Aaron still wide awake, but Kate's eyes are closed, though he isn't sure if she has actually fallen asleep. "You sure you don't want to sleep yet?" he checks with Aaron as he picks up the other book.

"No sleep. More stories!" Aaron says, though his eye lids are definitely heavier than they had been just a few short minutes ago.

"Alright. But this is the last one, and then you have to go to sleep or Santa won't come."

"Okay," Aaron agrees.

Halfway through the book, he notices that the little boy's eyes have closed, but he finishes the book anyway. He watches them sleep, wishing he could lay down and spend the night here too. But he doesn't want to make her feel pressured in any way.

Plus, Santa hasn't come yet, and he isn't exactly sure what Kate had wanted to do. He just doesn't want Aaron to wake up the next morning and not find presents under the tree.

"Good night," Jack whispers and leans down to press his lips against Aaron's forehead. Then he moves his head a couple inches over so that his lips brush Kate's cheek, unable to resist. Eventually he pulls his eyes away from his family after a last long look and eases himself off the bed, turning the light off and closing the bedroom door behind him as he leaves.

He pulls his shoes and coat on, grabs his keys, and heads out to the car to get all of the bags of presents. It takes several trips, and unfortunately Kate is still asleep when he finally finishes. He really doesn't want to wake her up, wants to prove to her and to himself that he can be good at being a father, but he is afraid that he will mess it up and ruin Santa for Aaron.

Sitting down on the floor by the tree, he starts to pull presents out of the bags and arrange them under the tree, trying to be as quiet as possible so Aaron doesn't wake up. When he finishes, he eats one of the cookies left for Santa as he surveys his work. Then he pours most of the milk down the sink to make it look like Santa drank it. He looks down the hallway toward his bedroom for a long moment before going to retrieve one last package from his suitcase. He sets it in the branches of the tree, out of Aaron's reach, and though he knows Kate certainly would have done a better job at this, he decides has done a decent job of giving Aaron a great Christmas.


	5. Chapter 5

"Santa comed, Mommy!" Aaron whispers excitedly, climbing back up into the bed with her.

She rolls onto her back and slowly opens her eyes to look at her son. The room is still dark, and it takes her eyes a moment to focus on him. "Too early to get up, baby," she says, reaching out to pull him back down beside her.

"But it Christmas, Mommy," he argues, moving out of her reach and bouncing on his knees in excitement.

And suddenly it hits her - she fell asleep while Jack was reading last night and never put out the presents. She sits up and rubs her eyes. "Aaron, Santa didn't forget about you. He is just really busy and probably didn't realize we weren't going to be at home for Christmas," she tells him, feeling miserable for having to lie to him after having told him that Santa always knows where you are.

"But Santa bringed lots of presents, Mommy," he looks at her in confusion.

"He did?" she looks at him warily.

"Yes, I seed them under the tree," he nods, sliding off the bed and taking her hand to pull her out of bed and to the living room.

Kate follows him out of the bedroom and finds the Christmas tree lit up, and just as Aaron had told her, there are presents underneath it. "Wow, Santa must have thought you were a really good boy," she smiles down at him.

"Open them now?" he grins up at her.

"Maybe we should wait for Jack to wake up," she suggests with a yawn. She glances at the clock, finding it just after six, and heads into the kitchen to start the coffee. As she pulls down two mugs, she hears Aaron calling out to Jack to wake up and sighs; after what he had done for them last night, she had been planning to let him sleep a little longer, but apparently her son has other ideas.

A few minutes later, Jack and Aaron make their way out to the living room. The boy drops to the floor beside the tree, eyes raking over all of the packages. Jack spots her in the kitchen, back to him as she fixes their cups of coffee. "Merry Christmas, Kate," he says, voice still somewhat sleepy, leaning against the counter beside her.

"Merry Christmas," she returns with a smile as she hands him one of the mugs. Her eyes meet his before glancing over her shoulder at her son and the presents under the tree, "And thank you, Jack."

"I'm just glad that you're both here, Kate," he lets his fingers linger against hers as he accepts the mug from her.

"Jack! Mommy! Hurry up!" Aaron calls out, getting impatient. They look at each other for a moment longer before she grabs her own cup, and they go to sit on the floor next to Aaron, one on each side of him. "Present time?"

"I don't know, buddy. I think we should go back to sleep for a while and then eat some breakfast before we open presents," Jack answers, sipping his coffee.

The little boy looks longingly at all of the presents and then turns to Kate, "Do we have to, Mommy?"

"It is really early. I could use some more sleep," she agrees with a glance at the doctor.

"We nap later," he suggests, coming to kneel in between her legs.

"But after opening all of these presents, you might not feel like napping," she argues.

"I promise I take a nap," he wraps his arms around her neck. "Please, Mommy?"

She pretends to think about it for a few seconds before letting him out of his misery, "Alright, I guess we are already up. Go ahead."

"Yay!" he yells, scrambling away from her to pick up a box.

It takes over two hours for them to finish opening presents, Aaron getting distracted by every new thing that he opens and wanting to play with it before unwrapping the next one. He gets some dinosaur figures, coloring supplies, toy cars, Candyland, a couple movies, and lots of books. From Jack, he gets a remote control car, planes, and even more books.

She watches as Jack shows Aaron how to operate the remote for his blue race car, and soon after, all she can hear is the boy laughing as the car crashes into everything in its path. Jack comes back with a trash bag to pick up all of the wrapping paper, and she helps to gather it.

"I should probably make breakfast now," she says when they are finished, getting to her feet.

He sets the trash bag down and stops her with a gentle hand on her arm, "There's no hurry. I think Aaron's occupied for a little while."

She smiles as she looks over at her son, "Yeah, I guess so."

Jack turns back to the Christmas tree, his heart rate picking up as he reaches for the small box that he had placed there last night. "I, uh… I have something for you," he looks at her hopefully as he offers the present to her.

Kate stares down at it for a few seconds before abruptly moving away from him, heading toward her bedroom. He watches her, wondering how he had messed this up already when she hadn't even opened it. But moments later, she reappears, her own hands now also holding a gift. "I have something for you too, " she replies nervously after she has made her way back to him.

They sit down on the couch, both angled in to face the other, and exchange packages.

"You first," she says before he can tell her to.

He carefully unwraps the small box and opens it up. Inside is a new watch, and he smiles at her, "Thank you, Kate."

"Turn it over," she replies softly. He does so and finds that she has had it engraved. 1… 2… 3… 4… 5… "I can't tell you how many times it has helped me since you told me that story. I got it before we split up but maybe… maybe this reminder can help you to get through this. Because I don't want to see you throwing your life away anymore; you deserve to be happy, Jack."

"This is perfect," he wraps his arm around her and is very grateful when she doesn't shy away from his touch.

"I'm glad you like it."

Aaron runs by, chasing his car and paying no attention to them.

Jack lets go of her, "You're turn now."

Kate peels back the wrapping paper to find a jewelry box. She glances up at him before opening the box. Inside is a heart-shaped locket, simple yet elegant, and she carefully opens the pendant up.

"I saw it when I was picking out the ring, went back a couple days later to get it. I can go back and have them change the picture," he offers, hand running through his hair as he avoids looking at her.

She smiles at the picture of the three of them together at the park taken by a kind stranger who had seen her taking pictures of Aaron and Jack and offered to get one of all three of them. "No, Jack, that's not necessary," she tils her head to try to catch his gaze.

They stare at each other for a long moment, but before either can speak, Aaron comes running back into the room, now climbing up onto Jack's lap. "I hungry now," he declares.

"Alright, baby. I will make us some breakfast," she says, leaning in to kiss his cheek.

"Play dinosaurs with me?" he asks Jack as she heads to the kitchen.

**~Lost~**

While Kate helps Aaron to remove all of his snow gear after their adventures sledding, Jack builds a fire in the fireplace to help them warm up. Even though it has been three years, he still remembers all the tricks he learned on the island, although it is a lot easier now when there are matches.

She settles onto the couch as he disappears down the hall, her son gathering all the books he got and laying on the floor to look at them. Minutes later she sees him moving about the kitchen, "You want some help?"

"You made breakfast. Let me handle dinner," he tells her.

Still freezing, she is content to stay put in front of the fire and try to thaw out. She is pulled out of her thoughts a few minutes later when Jack comes to stand next to her, holding out a mug.

"I thought you could use some help warming up."

She accepts the mug with a smile and takes a sip of the hot chocolate, "Thanks."

"Should I make some for him too?" Jack nods toward the boy on the floor, who is still enthralled with his books.

"Uh… I think he's okay right now; the cold doesn't really seem to have affected him. And we don't want to spoil dinner," she replies.

"Okay," he says and turns back to the kitchen.

As if he had sensed them talking about him, Aaron gets up from the floor, bringing his book with him, and climbs up onto the couch beside her. "Hi, Mommy."

"Hi, goober. You want me to read to you?"

He shakes his head and then leans against her side as he continues to flip through the pictures of dinosaurs. She puts her arm around him and lifts her mug to take another sip. The boy turns his gaze up to her, "What that?"

She leans over slightly to look at the picture in the book, "It's a pterodactyl."

"No, what you drinking?" he sets the book aside and stands up on the couch, hand on her shoulder to steady himself.

"Hot chocolate," she replies, though she knows she could have easily lied and said it is coffee.

"I have some too?" he looks hopefully at her.

"How about we share?" she suggests. "But it's too hot right now; we have to wait a little bit."

"Okay, Mommy," he says, sitting down again, this time in her lap.

"Did you have a good Christmas?" He nods excitedly. "Santa brought you everything you wanted?"

"Yes, Mommy. I missed Jack."

"Me too," she admits, keeping her eyes on her son instead of looking over to see if the man in question is listening to their conversation. "But now you can see him whenever you want again."

"He come home too?"

"Well, Jack has his own home right now, and he might stay there for a while. But he can come over to play with you and read and go to the park."

"You make him go away again?"

She can't very well explain to him that she hadn't made Jack leave - at least not for more than that night - and that it had been his choice to stay away for two months. "No, baby," she runs a hand through his hair.

Satisfied with her answer, Aaron reaches for her hand holding the mug, "Hot chocolate now?"

She brings the mug up to her mouth for another sip to test the temperature. "Okay, I think it's good now," she says, the liquid no longer scalding hot. She keeps her hand around the mug to hold it while he wraps his own hands around it and brings it up to his mouth.

"Yummy!" he smiles at her before taking another drink.

Ten minutes later the boy is back on the floor playing with his dinosaurs now as Jack takes a seat beside Kate on the couch, dinner in the oven. He gestures to the now empty mug still in her hand and gives her a knowing smirk, "You want some more?"

"Shut up, Jack," she says as she returns his smile.

"I didn't say anything. But if he doesn't want dinner, we know whose fault it is," he teases.

"Right," she looks down at the mug. When he reaches for it, she doesn't let go. "It's fine, Jack. Probably would just ruin his dinner more."

"I can keep him busy so he doesn't drink it all and you can enjoy it."

She shakes her head, "No, I'm good."

He lets his fingers linger on her hand for moment, "You know… you're really a great mother, Kate."


	6. Chapter 6

Jack lifts Aaron up from the floor and carries him into his bedroom before tucking him into bed. Kate finishes cleaning up Candyland, which the boy had fallen asleep during their fourth round. When he comes back, he finds her lying on her back on the rug in front of the fireplace where they had previously been playing the game.

He stops beside her, looking down at her, "You going to fall asleep now too?"

She opens her eyes and stares up at him, "Well, it was an early morning, and I didn't get my afternoon nap either."

He laughs and offers her hand to help her up.

She shakes her head, "It's nice and warm down here."

He grabs a couple pillows off the couch, handing her one before settling on the ground beside her. "You know, I think you were the one who actually brought up the idea of having a white Christmas for Aaron. I thought you liked the snow."

"Must be something about being a kid because I can't really say that I miss the Iowa winters much now," she tucks the pillow underneath her head and rolls onto her side to look at him.

"Winters at Columbia were brutal," he agrees with her on the snow. "But this isn't so bad."

Kate closes her eyes again, and when she finally opens them a long moment later, he can see the pain of heartbreak in them once more. She seems to be fighting something in her head as she looks at him. Eventually she asks, "How are you doing, Jack?"

"It's hard," he admits, forcing himself to meet her eyes so that she can see the honesty in them. "Not nearly as hard as the first week was. Sometimes I think it would just be so much easier to go back to being that person again. Fortunately Aaron's been keeping me busy - I forgot what it's like entertaining him all day."

"He can be exhausting sometimes," she agrees.

"He's a good kid."

She gives him a soft smile, but it fades after a few seconds as she turns serious, "I'm sorry I didn't support you before. I shouldn't have just kicked you out. I should have offered to help you get sober."

"No, you weren't responsible for fixing me, Kate."

"You always fix everyone else," she argues.

"Kate, you didn't kick me out. I chose to leave you, to not admit that I was the one with the problem that needed to be fixed. And I just let it spiral further out of control after I left."

"If I hadn't lied about Sawyer and had approached this issue differently, maybe we wouldn't be here."

"Or maybe I'd still be drinking and taking drugs. Maybe I would have left you on my own anyway. Or maybe we'd still be together but I'd be making you miserable. Maybe I would have ended up hurting you and Aaron worse that I already did," he suggests, turning his face away to look up at the ceiling. "Don't get caught up in what might have happened. And don't let what Aaron said get to you. Me leaving wasn't your fault."

"So you were listening?"

"Yes," he replies. "Maybe I should talk to him, tell him that it wasn't your fault that I left."

She shakes her head, "It's already been done, Jack. Just… don't do it to him again. Please."

"Kate?" he questions gently, seeing the emotion in her eyes.

"Seeing your parents split up isn't easy, Jack. But at least I still got to see my dad a couple times a year, even if he wasn't actually my dad," she tells him, swiping at her eyes. "You're the only father he knows. He needs you so please, Jack, don't just leave him again."

"What happened?"

She lets out a shaky breath, "Well, dinner Sunday was the first time I've gotten him to eat any kind of meat since you left; he wouldn't even touch the chicken nuggets that he loved. He never wanted me to read to him, but I'd always find him looking through the books your read together. And every single night he would wake up and come get in bed with me."

"I'm so sorry, Kate," he says, not sure what else he can offer. No words he says will ever make up for this or assure her that her son won't be hurt again.

They lay there in silence, the fire crackling softly behind her back, both looking at the other but not meeting eyes.

"You don't have to do this," he tells her quietly.

"Do what?" she questions, confusion passing over her green eyes as they glance up at his.

"Take me back. I hurt you, I hurt him, and it's completely my fault. Don't just do this out of misplaced guilt or because you think you don't deserve better."

Eyes still locked with his, she doesn't hesitate with her reply, "That's not what this is, Jack. Aaron wasn't the only one who missed you."

"Kate -"

"Don't, Jack. You accepted me for who I am and what I did. I can do the same for you as long as you're trying to be a better person."

Jack studies her face for a long moment before speaking, "I really thought that I had lost you for good."

"We survived a plane crash and living on a crazy island for three months. It's going to take more than this for us to lose what we have," she reaches out to brush her fingers over his cheek. "Though if I ever see that awful beard again, I make no promises about our relationship."

"I don't know, Kate. I think it really made the hardcore spinal surgeon image complete," he teases.

She shakes her head and brings her hand down to rest on his chest, "I will tie you down and shave it off myself if I have to."

"Thank you. No one has ever been so willing to give me a second chance," he tells her.

"Me neither," she hesitates only for a second before scooting closer to him, resting her head on his shoulder.

He wraps his arm around her back, grateful to have her close again. His steady and familiar heartbeat lulls her towards sleep. "Kate?" he prompts softly after a several minutes.

"Hm?"

"You're falling asleep. Let's get you to bed," he tries to shift out from under her.

She tightens her grip on his side as she sleepily replies, "I'm comfy right here."

He settles back down, choosing not to disturb her as he is also quiet comfortable, though he knows his back will be complaining later. For now at least, he would continue cuddling in front of the fireplace with her.

"Merry Christmas, Kate," he kisses the top of her head.

"Merry Christmas," she replies before drifting off.

**A/N: Thank you for all of the reviews!**


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